


5+1 times Barry said he had a boyfriend and the 1 time they realized he wasn’t kidding

by exasperatedmoron



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Hidden Relationship, Implied Relationships, Leonard Snart Lives, M/M, Not Beta Read, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Plot Twist, Poor Barry, Secret Relationship, and a bad truther, barry is a 'bad liar', not really but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 00:36:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20519084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exasperatedmoron/pseuds/exasperatedmoron
Summary: as the title saysbarry's a horrible liar, and apparently a horrible 'truther' too





	5+1 times Barry said he had a boyfriend and the 1 time they realized he wasn’t kidding

[ 1 ]

Cisco walked into the lounge with his arms full of chocolate, movies and those sappy scented candles. It was Valentine’s Day and him, Barry and Caitlin had a tradition of spending it together since they all had very, very miserable love lives.

“Who’s ready to cry over a dying dog!”

Caitlin was already sitting on one of the beanbags Barry placed in front of the mini-movie screen. She raised her glass of wine towards Cisco, already dressed in her sweats without makeup on. Barry, however, was dressed up in a maroon button down and hair gelled up. He was setting the stereotypical ‘ILY’ teddy bears on Cisco and Cait’s beanbags.

“Why do you look like you’re going on a date, Sonic?”

“Erm. Cause I am?”

“With who?” Cisco tried to think back to anyone Barry has interacted with recently, assuming it was someone new. The only new friends he’s made so far were Ralph and Julian. “Oh no. It’s not Ralph, is it? You always seemed to be in each other personal spaces”

Barry looked affronted, even holding up his hand to his chest. “Cisco, no! I- What- Cisco!” Barry’s face contorted as he tried to come up with words. “It’s not him! It’s... someone you guys know. But that’s all I’m saying!”

Barry stood his ground and seemed very insistent on keeping quiet, but Cait and Cisco were invested now. Barry’s last crush was on Iris and that ended years ago before she and Eddie got married. In those years, Barry has only gone on two dates - with Patty and Linda - and both didn’t work out so well. But even in those cases, Cisco and Caitlin were updated (like best friends were supposed to be).

Huh. “Why didn’t you tell us about this date?” “It was very last minute. I didn’t even know he was in town today. Turns out he was so... yea.”

“So, he travels out of town?” “Yeah, he does.”

“Huh. What’s his job?” “Oh, you know. A little bit of this and that. He deals with... uhm... artefacts? and... problem... solving?”

Wow. Pinocchio would be disappointed.

“Okay. Have fun on your date.

Barry nearly stumbled on his own two feet getting out of there, yelling a ‘Bye Cait! Cisco!”. Cisco picked up a beer from the chiller and sat beside Cait as she pressed ‘play’ on the remove.

“He doesn’t really have a date, doesn’t he?”

“Nope.”

[ 2 ]

Iris barged into Barry’s apartment, hands full of take-out and ice cream. Normally, she’d pick the lock to get in, but for some reason, Barry upgraded his lock. It was the same as before, so she could still use her key but it couldn’t be picked so easily anymore. Barry must have listened to her, for once.

“Barry! Eddie and I are fighting so I need to have a Disney marathon! Get your lazy ass out of bed!”

Iris heard him squeak, followed by a ‘thud’ as he fell out of his bed. She smiled to herself and placed the take out on the table, knowing that the speedster would be less grumpy once he saw the food. She made her way to the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer for later when he saw that his freezer wasn’t empty. Her eyebrows scrunched up as she opened the fridge and saw that it filled too.

Barry never had a filled fridge. Not even a half-filled fridge. Even before he was a speedster, he survived of ramen and pizza. The most his fridge would contain was leftovers from his junk or from whatever meal Iris brought over. It was even worse when he became a speedster, almost causing his fridge to be obsolete.

“Iris? Why are you staring at my fridge?”

Iris snapped out of her thoughts and turned around to stare at her foster brother with bed hair. “Since when did you have food?”

Barry looked confused for a second, eyes going from her to the fridge. As soon as his eyes saw the contents of it, a small smile grew on his face. “Oh. My boyfriend must have left some last night.”

Iris’s thoughts on food and Eddie were completely pushed back. “Boyfriend? Bartholomew Henry Allen, are you having secret rendezvous with a man and not telling me?” “Geez Iris, you’re almost as dramatic as he is. And no, I told you about him, remember?” 

Now it was Iris’ turn to be confused. “When?” “On Valentine’s Day? I asked you to fill my place with Cait and Cisco since Eddie had work and I had a date?”

Ohhhh. “Barry. You don’t need to use your imaginary boyfriend as an excuse to have your fridge stocked. You could just say it as it is. You finally decided to act like an adult instead of a bachelor.”

“What? What do you mean bachelor? Wait - What do you mean imaginary?”

“Cisco and Caitlin told me you made up a fake boyfriend so that it’d hurt less when you stood them up. It’s fine though, they took pity on you so they aren’t mad.”

“Fake?! I-Wha-They-”

“Barry relax. Come on, heat up your ‘boyfriend’s’ leftovers. I wanna taste it while telling you about how much of an overprotective husband Eddie is being again.”

Hours later, the two were stretched over the couch with cartons of ice cream balancing on their torsos while watching Singin’ in the Rain.

“I really do have a boyfriend, you know?”

“Sure you do.”

[ 3 ]

Barry was late for work (again) and Joe had to cover for him (again). He needed the results for a case so he sat on Barry’s chair and waited for the CSI to arrive. Soon enough, said CSI ran into the lab, clutching onto his messenger bag and a mini-cooler.

Julian took one look at him and snorted, “You sure that’s enough food, Allen? I can call a caterer if you’d like.” “Shut it, Jullian.”

“Joe! Hey I -” “You woke up sick, so I sent you to a doctor to get you checked up. I’m assuming you’re feeling better and ‘bout to give me the results for the Williams case I needed two hours ago?”

Barry nodded and tossed his bag to his chair as he frantically sifted through his desk, ignoring Julian’s comment about tidiness. He plucked out a file from the bottom of the clutter and passed it to Joe. “Thanks Barr. Now, why were you really late? Mugging? Little ol’ lady bein’ robbed?”

Barry started to scratch the back of his neck, face turning a light shade of pink as he avoided eye contact with Joe. “Ah. Actually, I overslept. I stayed over at my boyfriend’s place last night so... yeah.”

Joe’s eyes went wide, almost popping out of his head, “Boyfriend?”.

“Dear Lord, not this again,” Jullian mumbled from behind Joe as he continued writing his report. Joe turned around to look at Julian with an incredulous look. “You knew Barry had a boyfriend?”

“I knew Barry had an imaginary boyfriend. Cait told me about the Valentine’s Day Ditch.”

“Imaginary - What?! And seriously? You guys are putting a name to it?!” Barry nearly dropped the things he was holding on the floor.

“Ah. Iris told me about him too.”

“Joe, I really - “

“Barry, if you overslept, that’s fine. You didn’t need to lie. We know you’re workin’ hard on Flash duties anyway.”

“No, Joe. Really I-”

Barry was interrupted by Captain Singh’s appearance at the door, spurring the three back to work. Before Joe left though, he patted Barry on the back.

“You gotta work on your lying skills. Caitlin, Cisco and Iris saw right through you.”

Barry sighed.

[ 4 ]

Felicity and Barry were watching a movie marathon in the Arrow cave while Oliver was busy doing mayor stuff. The team needed Barry’s help with a meta who moved to Star City, so Barry ran over and even after the threat was cleared, he stayed for a while to catch up with his best friend.

Barry was finally starting to relax until Felicity just had to bring up a certain topic. “So what’s this I hear about you making up a fake boyfriend to get out of situations?”

Barry groaned into the popcorn.

“He’s not fake,” Barry asserted. “They just think he is because I won’t give out any details.”

“And why not?”

“Because he... well... it’ll be a disaster.”

“Okay,” Felicity sighed, setting down her popcorn, “I’ll play along. Why would it be a disaster?”

“They... Well, he doesn’t have the best reputation?” “Uh huh. And what kind of ‘reputation’ does he have?” Felicity leaned forward, eyes staring into Barry, trying to get him to slip.

“Well. You know, it depends. A bad but good one. But to some people, it’s a good one with a little bit of bad. He’s in the middle of good and bad? Or kinda like a see-saw, what side he’s on depends on the day.”

“Barry, this is why people don’t believe you.” "Not again.”

“You either need to work on your lying skills, or give out details that aren’t so vague.”

Barry groaned. He was so done. He picked up his popcorn and tossed one piece to Felicity’s head.

“Just eat your popcorn.”

[ 5 ]

Captain Singh was reading a report when Barry knocked on his door. “Come in, Allen.”

Barry walked into the office and placed a file on David’s desk. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped and turned to David. “Captain?” he asked.

“Yes, Allen?” “Can I request for a day off on the 18th?” David checked the calendar on the desk and saw that most of the other CSIs will be in.

“Okay, submit a proper request and I’ll approve it. If I may ask, why do you need to take it? Albert seems to be less of a pain as he was before.”

Barry chuckled as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “Actually it’s my boyfriend and I’s one and a half year anniversary. Our one year didn’t end well, so I wanted to make it up to him.”

David sighed and removed his glasses, turning to face Barry properly. “Barry, I’ve known you for over 10 years now. I think by now, you would know that excuses like that wouldn’t work on me.’’

Barry looked confused and a little bit upset at his words. “Sir? I...’’

“If it didn’t work on Joe, Iris, or your other friends, it won’t work for me too. I know you’re the Flash, Barry. You didn’t need to come up with an elaborate fib like that.” Barry looked like he was about to protest or deny any allegations, but his shoulders just slumped. Barry looked like he wanted to roll his eyes at the world. He nodded and turned again to walk out when David mentioned something.

“Also, if you ever used that excuse again, one year anniversary sounds more believable than one and a half.”

“Of course. Sure thing, Captain.”

[ +1 ]

Since Joe found out Captain Singh knew about Barry being the Flash, he decided to let his old friend around the labs, re-introducing him to Cisco and other members of the team. David was slightly surprised at how many people he knew were in the team (”Albert and Dibny? You guys are involved in this?”). He was surprised at their involvement, but at the same time, he wasn’t. Barry had the type of personality that just drew people in.

Just as he was talking to Caitlin in the med bay, a series of beeps emitted from the computers in the cortex. “What’s that? Is that some kind of Flash alert?” he asked as him and Caitlin walked into the cortex where the rest were in, excluding Barry, who was patrolling the city.

“Nah, that just means the waverider landed on the roof. The Legends will probably stop by here to say hi before visiting their families.” Cisco answered as he had another lollipop in his mouth. Caitlin scowled at him and he removed the sweet from his mouth, not wanting her to go into another tirade about dental health.

Minutes later, a group of nine walked into the cortex, exchanging pleasantries with team Flash.

“Didn’t know the Captain of the CCPD is now on team Flash.”

David turned away from his conversation with Ray Palmer and saw Leonard Snart leaning against a wall, smirking. Beside him was his partner Mick Rory, who was being fussed over by Caitlin (”You keep letting your burns heal like that and I’ll cover it in ice until it reaches your bones.”) “Leonard Snart. Didn't know you played on the hero’s side now.”

“Well, I tend to swing both ways.” He turned and sauntered off to Cisco, but not before giving David one last smug look, causing him to think that there was a double meaning behind what Snart said.

“Hey, where’s Barry?” Sara asked Joe, who was catching up with Stein. “He’s on patrol. I can call him back.” Joe went over to the computers and patched in through Barry’s comms.

“Hey Barr, the Legends are here. Come over and say hi.” “The Legends?” Barry sounded excited, but team Flash thought it was because he got to catch up with his friends. The Legends, on the other hand, gave Len a quick look before returning to their conversations.

Five seconds later, a figure appeared in the middle of the cortex, followed by a lightning trail. “Barry!” Sara exclaimed as she threw her arms around the speedster, still in his Flash regalia. “Hey Sara, how was the 1800s?” “Sexist. But I kicked some bigots into a river, so I’d say it went well.” Barry and Sara exchanged a few words before someone in the corner coughed.

“Lenny!” Barry exclaimed and sped over to the reformed criminal. He kissed the thief in front of both their teams, unaware of the heart attack he gave to the members of his own team.

“Bartholomew Henry Allen!” Iris shrieked, causing everyone in the room to wince at the octave she reached, “Since when were you dating Captain Cold?!”. Barry opened his mouth to respond when Nate beat him to it.

“What the hell, man? You didn’t tell your team about it? It’s been years!” Barry sighed and put his head on his hands. Len’s arms were still around his waist, his back leaning on Len’s front. “No. I did. Multiple times. No one believed I had a boyfriend.”

The Legends half of the group burst into hysterical laughter while team Flash was still frozen in disbelief. “Wait a second. Your ‘fake’ boyfriend is Leonard Snart?!” Joe pointed from Barry to Len, taking a moment to process it. He wasn’t as mad as he thought he’d be, but definitely surprised.

“To be fair, they aren’t dating anymore.”

That caused the team to snap out of their stupor. “What do you mean they aren’t dating anymore?” Cisco questioned, trying to comprehend how this all happened. “Did you guys break up?” Caitlin asked from her position beside Mick, who was laughing so hard that he held onto her shoulder for support.

Barry blinked at all his friends and family, asking himself how massive of a situation this led to. He shook his head and removed his gloves, taking Len’s hand and doing the same.

“Guys. I've been wearing a ring for the last 2 months. I haven't been hiding."

"We thought it was part of your... psuedo boyfriend scheme..."

Captain Singh was the first to get over the shock of everything and put all the information together. "So. For the last 2 years, you actually do have a boyfriend. Who's Leonard Snart. And not only did you tell us you were dating someone, you also flaunted your ring around, showing us you're engaged, and we didn't even believe it."

"Most people think the superspeed is what's unbelievable about me..."


End file.
